How often to You hear The plaintive plea 'I can't perform with a Condom'. Or the comment 'I was fine until I had to put a condom on and then everything turned to jelly'.

We think maybe It's not the condom, maybe its any one of the other million things that can cause mission control to unintentionally abort an otherwise successful mission.

We are going to go out on a limb here. Guys failing to get wood at the appropriate time is not uncommon in a Lifestyle context. In fact not only not uncommon, it happens quote often.

When it happens it's No big deal. It's just a huge pain in the arse for all concerned. She feels bad (inappropriately) and (incorrectly) blames herself. He feels bad because he's missing out on something he worked hard for (or not hard as the case may be).

Often times it's the rubber that gets the blame. But is it really?

What about the dozens of other things that can cause the same result:

• Tiredness - why is it that we NEVER get around to Playing until so late in the night?
• Unfamiliar circumstances - I know that's the whole point - being with someone else - but it doesn't make it any easier. 
• A little tension - Will I perform? Is everyone happy with the place we are at?
• A bit of dutch courage - It took a few drinks to get you to the happy place but maybe that's not going to help you in the long run.

The list goes on an on. But if we are really honest, was it the condom that did the damage or one of the other things

Quite recently we witnessed a classic case of limpsy where a guy couldn't even get it up with his own uber-hot partner. In that case it was simple, the guy had his head so far up his own arse it was no suprise when nothing happened.

I was going to put some disclaimer in here that we are unaffected by this issue but thought better of it. Who gives a toss what anyone else thinks. More to the point:

• What is your experience?
• Do you think prophylactics are getting a bum wrap?
• Are they getting the blame for something that's not really their fault
• What's been your experience
• Do you have any suggestions/solutions when the problem arises - or doesn't rise as the case may be?

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naughtydark - Yep - it happens   | Registered | 2008-04-15 09:25:29 But have to agree mostly it ain't the condom - mostly its the other head stuff that does it - stressful new situation with lots of pressures and all of a sudden down it goes. I am (ahem ahem) tlking about the other males here - I haven't had the problem, largely because (i think) we are working in an area where I feel in control. We have had it happen a couple of times and it ain't fun but I think admitting it is a possibility is a good start, I think condoms get blamed because the pause to put them on allows the mind to work rather than the glands Reply | Quote You need to be logged in to vote

cumandplay69     | Registered | 2008-04-15 18:35:10 Apparently they do decrease sensitivity according to my partner! He says sex with them is never as good as without. But, the scene dictates that condoms it must be, so condoms it is. I think the key is that the guy has to be super horny so that there is no problem getting them on. If alcohol is involved, it can get tricky. The opposite side of the coin is that it helps them to last longer...no premature ejaculation because of the decreased sensitivity. There are pluses and minuses. But without them, there can be no fun, so let's just keep partying! Condoms rule! Reply | Quote You need to be logged in to vote

Paula   | Super Administrator | 2008-04-15 19:13:21 If you are that worried about your fella using them and the lack of sensitivity why not use a femidom? Reply | Quote You need to be logged in to vote

Laura   | 58.174.128.xxx | 2008-04-15 19:56:03 We decided to try an experiment last night - sex with and without a condom. Our verdict - no problem with erection but B finds it difficult to ejaculate with a condom. Paula - once again you are the guru of all things bent! Femidom? please tell.... The green one Reply | Quote You need to be logged in to vote

Swingfest   | Author | 2008-04-16 04:42:46 Paula Wrote:- "why not use a femidom?" PICS OR BAN ! Reply | Quote You need to be logged in to vote

Luke   | Super Administrator | 2008-04-16 06:26:05 second that Reply | Quote You need to be logged in to vote

Paula   | Super Administrator | 2008-04-16 16:29:13 I cannot believe so few people know about these! Ok the femidom is a tube of latex - same as a condom - with a large ring at the end and a smaller one which sits at the top of the vagina. They are great as they do not impair any sensitivity but the female has to guide the man in as you can accidentally slip into the vagina by mistake (along the sides) They are approx $10 for 3 single use condoms and are worth every penny in my view. Glyde in Australia sell them or ask your local condominium or sex shop to start stocking them. I would like to se these being sold in clubs - would be fun eh! Pic to follow. Reply | Quote You need to be logged in to vote

Swingfest   | Author | 2008-04-16 16:53:18 *PUZZLED LOOK* Doesnt thrusting pull the bloody thing out ? It doesnt sit tight on the shaft then ? Did you also know you can get 'fingerdoms' for anal Play ? Don't ask me how I know that. Reply | Quote You need to be logged in to vote

Luke   | Super Administrator | 2008-04-16 16:57:18 Same thing occurred to me W. Paula has promised to get one and we'll do some experimentation. Do you want me to send it to you when we are finished with it? Reply | Quote You need to be logged in to vote

Paula   | Super Administrator | 2008-04-16 16:56:28 Lol yes, i did know that (a few lesbian friends) anyway no the upper ring sits very high and kind of connects with the body so thrusting (unless it's play rape - eg. very hard) does not dislodge at all. I had to tell Luke all about it last night in bed... no wonder he is so tired this morning Reply | Quote You need to be logged in to vote

Swingfest   | Author | 2008-04-16 17:06:42 Luke said.. Paula has promised to get one and we'll do some experimentation. VID OR BAN ! p.s. Used Femidoms belong in a BIN not at my house. Reply | Quote You need to be logged in to vote

Paula   | Super Administrator | 2008-04-16 17:14:04 aw really, guys you do not wanna see my ass! OR HIS lmao Reply | Quote You need to be logged in to vote

Swingfest   | Author | 2008-04-16 19:29:45 Umm is this REALLY the place for flirting Paula ? SHUCKS.. Reply | Quote You need to be logged in to vote

paul   | 220.245.180.xxx | 2008-04-17 18:48:56 I personally would rather wank then wear a condom that is how much it kills the feeling for me. When one comes near me I instantly lose my erection ( I never have Intercourse with othe rwoman when we play for this reason). Being uncircumsised the rubber just is another barrier. I have long been a beliver in the idea (this will stir some men up lol ) that a uncircumsised Cock is more sensetive then a circumsised one. They say you lose over a thousand nereve endings when you get the chop. All that mans life the head of his cock is rubbing against material of differant grades , some soft some corse, where as if you have not been chopped the head is always undercover so to speak. Speaking about myself I know it is sooo uncomfy for me if the head of mine comes out and rubs against whatever I am wearing and I quickly have to readjust lol . Reply | Quote You need to be logged in to vote

Luke   | Super Administrator | 2008-04-18 01:45:07 Quote: uncircumcised cock is more sensitive then a circumcised one I believe you are Right. Not from personal experience but from what I've read/heard. I think it's great - but it's one of those conundrums that never gets answered - like if you are blind do you Dream in colour. It's not as if you can ever get it back after someone made a fairly arbitrary decision to remove it. Reply | Quote You need to be logged in to vote

Paula   | Super Administrator | 2008-04-18 02:04:20 I know someone who is 'cut' but is trying a rather weird way of getting his feeling back... more news later if we can get him to share! Reply | Quote You need to be logged in to vote

raven62   | Registered | 2008-04-18 02:26:24 I do not have the time just now to write in any detail but I was circumcized at the age of 27 for medical reasons and it took me some 5 years to stop being angry. I guess an article is called for some time on the male perspective of cut vs uncut. R Reply | Quote You need to be logged in to vote

Paula   | Super Administrator | 2008-04-18 02:40:08 Being a female maybe some would argue it is not my place to address the issues of male circumcision but I will wait and see where this conversation goes... I feel very very strongly about this subject! Reply | Quote You need to be logged in to vote

PAUL   | 220.245.180.xxx | 2008-04-18 04:40:51 Please tell us your views on this subject as it would be interesting to see what a woman thinks on this subject Reply | Quote You need to be logged in to vote

Luke   | Super Administrator | 2008-04-18 17:33:46 Can we reserve this conversation for a new topic? I think it's worth a discussion from exactly the point of view that Paula asked. What do women think about cut and uncut??? Would anyone like to send me something? Maybe we can turn it into a poll. I have a few fun references on the subject too. Reply | Quote You need to be logged in to vote

MsBhaven - Femdom   | Editor | 2008-04-24 12:54:03 We figured the same thing. I don't buy the fact that the condoms are the problem but can understand where the blame comes in. So in all fairness and trying to take some of the pressure off of the men, we bought 6. Took a bit of time to find since all of our local stores thought we were nuts. I agree with Paula, I can't believe so many people have never heard of them. Anyway, we tried one out for the sake of science. I love the fit but I think we may have used a little too much lube (or perhaps it's just my body). The damn thing did slide in and out. The directions says its not supposed to do that but no matter what position we tried, it still did. Mr B said that the feeling was great since there was no constriction like a male condom (those have never bothered him in the first place). I'm sure just like with anything, it'll take a few tries for us to get the right combination of lube down pat but we're willing to continue trying. Looks a bit funny but then again so does a penis wrapped in laytex. So far *** out of ***** We'll keep you updated. Ms B Reply | Quote You need to be logged in to vote

Luke   | Super Administrator | 2008-04-24 18:00:15 I'm guessing lube on the inside and not so much on the outside. Dunno what you do about what occurs naturally ... Reply | Quote You need to be logged in to vote

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