Do people share because they like variety? Or do they get variety because they share?
Why is It that The average person is happy with one partner (at a time) for most of their lives, but some people look for more? There are as many theories as their are proponents.
We don't know the answer but here's a few suggestions and a poll to provoke some discussion.
There are as many theories why people like multiple partners as there are people.
For guys the obvious one is our stone age brains. We are wired to spread the seed as far and as wide as possible. To provide the greatest chance of continuing our genetic code. Unfortunately our stone age brains don't understand condoms and birth control so they get fooled very easily.
Or do they do it to feel good about themselves. It's important that your wife/husband/de-facto 'wants you'. But how much more important is it that someone who doesn't have to want you is still interested?
What about for the girls? Not all of them like variety but we know some that do. We've met people from many different backgrounds and gleaned a little of the story from each of them.
What about the girl with more than average testosterone and a correspondingly high sex drive? We've also met former and current sex workers, for whom, multiple partners is nothing unusual. Or the theory (not ours) that all female swingers have been sexually abused at some time or another. The proponents of that theory say Swinging is a way of promoting their self worth?
Or is it just meaningless sport? Is it just more exciting for a Saturday night than going to the movies?
Or have you actually had more partners swinging than vanilla. Maybe the whole thing is a fiction? What do you think?
Seriously though, I need to know why young blokes are "studs" if they have numerous sexual partners/one night stands but us women are called Sluts or worse?
I had a great time exploring my sexuality with men and women - mostly safely but I was seen as a scarlet woman!
I kept my life as a sexually promiscuous single quiet and did not hurt anyone so whats the difference between women and men doing the same thing? I think it is based on other women being jealous..
I could be wrong (now that would be a first!) what do you all think?
I think the difference between common perceptions of men and women with lots of partners is a power based thing. Until very recently, the patriarchal social structure favoured ownership and disempowerment of women (and in many cultures still does).
From an evolutionary perspective its about males wanting to father as many children as possible and at the same time ensure paternity of womens offspring. chaste women and slutty men are apparantly the most reproductively efficient combination. (Although for the life of me I've never managed to figure out who the men are supposed to get to slut around with??)
Anyway I really do think attitudes are changing - or am i naive?
I agree with you Paula that there is a certain amount of envy felt by women who are not comfortable being sexual, and that is expressed as disapproval and name calling .
I was a late starter but caught up quickly. Might be too difficult to do with these small numbers but it would be interesting to have a poll to analyze the relationship between age of first Intercourse and number of partners, vanilla or otherwise. Could be an inverse relationship. Hmmm
R
Sorry Raven, there has been a fair amount of research done here, and the younger you start the more partners you are likely to have. So you would appear to be a bit of an exception.
Those who start early are more likely to have risk-taking personalities and a disregard for rules and social convention. Consequently they are more likely to have a greater number of sexual partners over their lifespan.
Fuck sometimes I sound like such a smartarse - sorry
See? we all differ, for us we would rather enjoy the moment (s) for hours and hours with just one couple.. You get to learn so much more about yourself and your needs and wants..
What are peoples thoughts on more than foursomes? group sex?
For us, there is nothing better than say a group of 10 couples, all good friends, all having played before (either as a group or in couples), all with absolutely No 'issues' shagging till the sun comes up.
My media room floor looks like a scene from Caligula sometimes (the orgy bits.. not the gory bits)
NOW.. there is a lot of enjoyment to be taken away from Playing with 1 couple for a few hours as well, but when you have so many good Play partners, why limit yourself ?
Cheers
p.s. one of the best things about swinging is no 2 people are the same in what they think.
We're moody. We may see 1 couple or many couples. We weigh up a pile of factors and toss in capricious irrationality for good measure and the numbers are what they are.
These can work in a contradictory fashion -
1. laziness
2. mood to party
3. who we feel like seeing
4. convenience and venue
5. general feelings of intimacy towards people
There's my totally unhelpful addition to this thread.
It
Nothing like open honest swingers eh!
They didn't call me the wizards sleeve for nothing ya know 
(W here by the way)
where ya been pet? Mr pet kept ya busy huh?