A discussion started elsewhere on couples.net.au about men being jealous of their multi-orgasmic partners. Paula threw down The gauntlet. Dammit I thought, I'll take up that one!

Some of us are lucky enough to have multi-orgasmic partners. How does this affect your relationship with each other and with others? You can tell from the title Paula thinks there is a male equivalent of penis envy. She's aptly christened It Jina envy.

First of all I need to declare a vested interest. I have a really bad case of Jina Envy. I am totally completely and utterly envious of the way some girls seem to be able to get off in 30 seconds flat. Perhaps it was a misspent monkey spanking youth. Perhaps it was years of being told that sex was bad. If you listen to Dan Savage then it is mostly due to having way too firm a grip on 'reality'.¹ Whichever way, I would die a happy man if I spent the last day of my life having Multiple Orgasms.

On a good (miraculous) night out I might be able to orgasm 3 times. Each orgasm being harder to achieve and less satisfying the previous one. Typically, if I can rip one or two off a night I'm pretty satisfied with my performance². Anecdotally, I think my experience is fairly typical.

Meanwhile my female partners seem to be able to satisfy themselves in every which way. Time and time again. There is a certain injustice about working hard for your second orgasm when you can see your wife across the room trying to stop herself from having number 12.

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So why is it an issue? So what if your orgasm ratio is 10:1 ? I should be pleased that my partner is cumming over and over and over again with seemingly No effort.

Of course I am pleased she had her twelfth orgasm just before she fell off the chandelier. But the issue arises about the difference between the way men and women seem to approach sex. For many women, sex is satisfying even if they don't orgasm. You know the situation. You are making love with your partner, she doesn't Cum but still goes to sleep with a big smile on her face.

If you can raise the courage to ask, she'll tell you that she doesn't always need to cum to be satisfied. Most guys just can't understand that reasoning.

In general,³ men have sex for one reason and one reason only - the orgasm. Whereas women reputedly have sex for tenderness, to be desired, for intimacy and to appreciate all the things men see as ancillary benefits. These drives can be explained from our prehistoric origins - man the hunter, woman the nurturer.

So there's the issue. The girls get the thing they don't need in abundance. The guys on the other hand are totally driven towards orgasm and have to be content with less of what they want. Is it any wonder it is fertile ground for envy?

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If you disagree with my suggestion that men are totally orgasm focussed then you'll disagree with all of this next part. If you accept that a man is more driven towards orgasm, read on.

There comes a point of no return. The point at which the guy is so totally focused on his orgasm that stopping could be very difficult. I'm not suggesting that stopping is impossible, just costly. Potentially a change of plan at the critical moment can result in no outcome at all!

So when I am about to cum with a partner (possibly the first of the night) and Paula says stop! I do feel a little jealousy. I am working on #1 and she has just had #6 . If flight control decides to change airports when I am already in the landing pattern ... it can be harsh.

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It goes a little deeper than that too. While everyone derives a lot of pleasure from foreplay, if it isn't followed up with a mind shattering orgasm then a man can feel robbed.There is no physical condition being blue-balled, but it is a definite psychological condition. There have been times when we have stopped Playing for all sorts of reasons, e.g. too hot, someone is too tired, someone loses their happy, because I don't feel it is Right to cum in some-one's mouth. My partner had a few orgasms but I haven't yet. Do I feel robbed - you bet!

Just being polite can cause it to happen. Once I've cum, if fucking is the main course, then the meal is over. So of course, like any gentleman I try to cum last. That can also result in a no show if the whole thing gets called off at the last minute.

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Accepting that a man has a one track mind when he is about to climax has created issues for us too.

For me it is hard to be intimate at the 'critical moment'. In fact about the only thing I can do at the 'critical moment' is keep breathing - and sometimes not even that! This can cause a bit of friction. I develop one track tunnel vision just before I cum. If someone else wants some attention then it may be hard to distract me. 

Is Jina Envy fair? - nope - not at all.

Is it real? - yep - for me.

Is it acceptable - I dont know - you be the judge. 

____

1. There's a prize to the first person who can comment explaining what that cryptic remark is all about. 

2. I'm not advertising the fact that I'm a dud fuck. In my defence I can keep it up as long as is necessary, but I just don't seem to personally benefit from the endurance!

3. Please don't send me hate mail for being a generalist. I know there are expectations, and I would love to hear about them in the comments. Just don't hate me for stating the obvious.

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Hot4U - In The Zone   | Registered | 2008-03-12 23:35:08 Nothing please me more to see my Multi Orgasmic Wife in that state one after another until she can't even get up & walk. Turns me on no ends. As for my orgasming, we usually go for a Play with each other 1st to start the night off & pop the cork with each other. Then off to see what else there is as a couple. Yes it does take longer, to achieve, but I find the the orgasm more intense & more earth shattering everytime. On those good nights by the time you are getting number 3 or 4 up, you have to learn to keep it within yourself somewhat. Letting it run up & down the spine, not releasing it out. Even learning to a little noisey at times can help, why be shy. As for chasing the orgasm, WHY THE Hell NOT, if that's the mood. Other nights can be the sheer pleasure of pleasing your partner & enjoying the friendship this can bring with other new found friends. B & N Reply | Quote You need to be logged in to vote

petitmiam - multi-orgasmics   | Registered | 2008-03-26 00:21:45 Whoa. Ok, I'm probably going to be the only woman alive that fesses up to NOT being one of these multi-orgasmic women after reading this but I'll be brave and admit it!! It appears to be one of those things men look for in a woman (that and the bi thing). So I guess my attractive factor has just fallen. Damn! I guess my experience of orgasms may be more likened to men then. I mean... if I'm extremely horny, I can probably get to 3 but certainly the first is the most intense. (I am talking in close succession here... of course over the spread of the day more are possible and may be just as intense as the first.) But hey, in defense of women who don't orgasm 12 times in a night, you men don't have to try so hard eh! It's more pleasure for you boys. I mean, once I've gotten there the first explosive time, I completely focus on my partner(s) and the better the orgasm was for me, the more generous I tend to become in doing whatever it is that is asked of me. I'll admit to instigating sex without any real desire to climax just because I like the intimacy but I totally understand wanting to climax and I'd NEVER deny my partner! I mean, shit, when I'm insanely horny and denied my ending for whatever reason, I can be LIVID FOR DAYS after. DO women get cheesed about orgasm chasing? I mean, if a guy is chasing his orgasm to the exclusion of all else then sure, it's annoying but it's not annoying per se. I mean... that's just men, no? I kinda like it. I love the intensity just before a man orgasms and how he IS in a world of his own for those 'critical moments'. It's hot. Of course... there's also the fact that I like it a little rough so a man who isn't 'on a mission', so to speak, may not be um... as interesting for me. Ms Pet Reply | Quote You need to be logged in to vote

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