不,nr, non, nein, αριθ, いいえ, 아니다, não, нет, there are plenty of ways to say It.
Two little letters n o. But how do You say it so as not to offend anyone?
Or do you? Would you just say yes to avoid The embarrassment?
We think is should not be an issue - if you can't take a polite No then you should look for a different hobby.After all, the reasons are all about the person saying no, and nothing to with the person hearing it.
OK we are all agreed that pretty much anything with the Right person/people is on the menu. But what if you don't particularly like the entree? What if you don't really want to go there with that person/people?
There has to be a polite way to say 'No, thankyou'.
Possibilities are:
'not if your were the last living human and the survival of the species depended on it' or
'no thanks I have crabs' or
'not even with someone else's'
All of which will probably yield a result other than the one you want.
Or you could take (in my opinion) the most insulting approach and simply ignore the question.
For that matter, why do you even need to offer an explanation. Surely a simple no thank you would suffice. After all, your reasons have nothing to do with the other person. Perhaps Aunt Flo is in town, perhaps the jock itch is Playing up - perhaps you really do have crabs. What business is it of the other persons?
Why is such a simple thing, such a vexed question?
What's your opinion?
How do you politely decline?
How do you feel if you ever get a negative answer?
1.) Hi, sorry, we have to get to know you a bit better.
2.) Is that our taxi ?
We've been dissed a few times ages ago. You get better in tune if people are 'into you' before you ask after a while. No one likes rejection.
Saying NO on a Dating site is pretty easy if you are polite. But we've had a few couples write back and basically say "get stuffed then", which says volumes for their maturity. We've also had no's from couples online, who we have since met and become great Swing buddies with.
hmm isn't saying "we have to get to know you better" a bit of a false lead if you know you are NEVER going to Play with a couple?
I think Luke is right 'no thank you' is enough and no explanation should be required - perhaps easier said than done though.
We were recently on the receiving end of a 'no thank you' and it was not a problem for us (I think the trick is not to try and second guess others reasons - just let it be).
At the same time I sensed that the couple turning us down felt awkward and uncomfortable in telling us.
Do you think there is a difference in saying no to a couple you have just met and saying no to a couple you have played with before? Personally, I have found the latter much more difficult, but think I managed it with honesty and tact.
Do you think there is a difference in saying no to a couple you have just met and saying no to a couple you have played with before?
I agree, If you have played/fucked a couple and like them but feel for whatever reasons it is not appropriate then it is much harder to decline than with a couple/single you have only just met.
Sometimes you play a few times then realize the couple are just not right for you - now thats a hard call to make. Be honest (yes it is hard) and just go with how you feel...
No in an ideal world there is no problem. In an ideal world it is all just meaningless sport. But you can't help but think how the other person might feel (trying to be empathetic). e.g.
"We weren't good enough but they don't seem to mind with them"
It kind of cancels out all the it's not you it's me arguments.
Shit, you can't feel sorry for everyone you don't want to fuck, you would be exhausted!
"we weren't good enough but you don't seem to mind with them" says fuck one, fuck all to me! -
I like to think its less about 'not good enough' and more about 'the chemistry just isn't there'
If I don't want to play with someone that's my prerogative, if I want to play with someone else that's my prerogative too. I don't owe anyone.
I honestly believe if a person feels rejected by a scenario like this then dealing with that and working it through will benefit them in the end.
That's true. But I'm not talking about sympathy - I don't feel sorry for them. I'm talking about empathy - I can understand how that might upset them.
In that position I think I probably wouldn't do anything (closed door or not) rather than put them through any pain.
What you are sating about feeling rejected and growing through the experience is right but it doesn't lessen the real pain they feel at the time. Perhaps I need to chill a bit and let them grow ...
yeah I know what you mean, but you can drive yourself crazy trying to second guess other peoples feelings - and never actually know. I have never actually been on the 'rejected' end of a scenario like this but would like to think I would be cool with it.
(and there you would be worrying that I was upset and spoiling your own fun because of it - what a waste!)
I would just go with it - If I did not want to play with one couple as I wanted to fuck a different couple I would just play with the couple I wanted to play with in the first place and not worry about the other couple!
Mind you - we have not seen any hotties we have wanted recently anyway!
You can have emptahy, but you also have to be realistic. You can't and WON't Shag every couple that ever asks you. Real people with experience would brush it off, and people who get upset, probably need some more time in the scene to be rejected a few more times. Not everyone you meet will want to play, and some people you don't think you'll ever play with, will one day prove to be some of the best people in and out of the cot you can ever meet.
Swingfest said it all though.. I won't just fuck anyone even if we have already played before - some people I respect too much as friends to fuck and some I just did not fancy again. We have many Swinging friends and they all feel a little differently baout this subject but I think as long as you are kind... It's all good!
Do you think it can change from one night to the next? For us it's either always an option (maybe not now but in the future) or never an option - initial reactions seem to be the most telling.
不,nr, non, nein, αριθ, いいえ, 아니다, não, нет, 
It
I'm surrounded by a bunch of dead 'ard sheila's here now
Oh cheeses! God I sounded harsh eh!
If it breathes... (I think that was the criteria)
